I know a few of my guy friends out there who sometimes complain to me about never getting a second date, feeling like they're not date-able, wondering why they're still single... in fact, I have SEVERAL right now....
This isn't directed to anybody in particular, but rather generalized information ALL men should see, single or not. If you're NOT single, you should still read below. Doing any (or all) of the things below could rekindle a woman's passion, even if you've been together for many years.
I would hope that this guideline wouldn't only exist in the first date, but in random subsequent dates as well. It's not expected every single day, but for special occasions and the fortuitous evening out, treat her as though she's special. After all, there's a reason you're with her in the first place. She IS special to you.
Valentine's Day is only 3 days away. Don't let this message fall on deaf ears or blind eyes. I will most likely be alone on Valentines Day - but for all those who aren't, please enjoy yourselves. Go out with style, grace and class. Nothing wows a woman more.
Here is a list for the boys. There is a saying that “you never get a second chance to make a good first impression.” With that in mind, it is vital to be fully prepared to make a great impression on each date you go on. Here are 10 tips for men on dating success and making an impression that will last.
Pay for everything. Don’t mention splitting the bill. If the lady suggests paying part of the bill do not accept the offer. If she insists, allow her to pay what she wishes (this is not just a rule for dating). You will be the best judge at the time whether your date is only insisting because she feels obliged.
In most cases, I agree with this. There are the rare occasion when this would NOT be the case though... If you've started out as friends and you feel that this 'date' shouldn't actually be a date, by all means, ask to split the check.
No movies on the first date. How can you get to know each other if you spend the majority of the time in silence? I would recommend taking your date out for dinner (no lunch dates on the first date either). Take her somewhere you feel comfortable and somewhere you can easily afford. You don’t want to be nervous all through the date that you might get stuck with a crippling bill. If price is a big concern for you, you can organize your own date in a public place (like a park or even at your own home) and prepare the meal yourself. If you can’t cook, takeaways are fine, but serve it on plates at the table and try to make an effort.
I would also suggest that you not go too overboard with the first date. Keep it simple and moderately priced. You can get extravagant on subsequent dates if things go well.
I disagree with the "invite her to your home scenario. It's dangerous and can help you loose the first date even before it begins. Never invite a woman to your home for a first date unless you've known one another for a LONG time. Ladies, don't GO to their homes unless you know them extremely well. That's how the Ted Bundy's of this world work.
First off, if you are going to dinner, read the Rules for Fine Dining list; try to remember at least one or two. When you pick up your date, get out of the car and hold the door open for her. Do the same when you are letting her out of the car. If you are dining out for your first date, hold the chair out for your date and help her sit.
Don’t be late.
That means not to expect anything in return! A date is not payment for future pleasures, it is a way to get to know someone to gauge compatibility. This rule also means you should not try to get your date drunk, drugged, or compromised in any other way. At the end of the date you can offer a small kiss – offer nothing else and expecting nothing back.
Any guy who thinks he needs to resort to having his date drunk, drugged or compromised in any way isn't a man. He's a coward. That's just my own opinion on the matter. I've known people to TRY this to me. It ended badly - for them. Not that I would think any of my friends out there would ever have this kind of mentality, but to all the other guys out there who think this is their only chance to get laid, is it really worth jail time? Because that's where you WILL end up.
Besides, women aren't used to men being respectful. Be unusual. Be special. Be the one that she can't help but think about, because you were different. Stand out from the crowd. Do just that - offer a small (no trying to choke her with your tongue) kiss at the end of the night. That's ALL. Nothing more. Leave HER wanting more.
Be confident and take charge of the evening. This does not mean you should drag your date around by the arm; be firm with your suggestions and be confident that you will have a good date and make a good impression – remember, if you were a total loser you wouldn’t be on the date in the first place.
Dress appropriately for your date, and you should probably let your date know where you are planning to take her in advance so she can also dress appropriately. If you are going to the beach for a seaside dinner, dress nicely (no jeans) but don’t overdress. Similarly, if you are going to a fancy restaurant, wear a shirt and tie. Make sure your shoes are clean and polished if necessary.
Shower. Shampoo. Shave. If you have cologne, wear a little but not too much.
Do not focus on yourself during the evening – ask your date questions about herself (this works in all social situations). Listen to the replies too and don’t just look for an opening to start discussing yourself. Do not talk about your job for more than a few minutes – while our own work is a fascinating subject for us, it is seldom fascinating for someone else.
Be sure to compliment your date – but don’t go overboard – you will seem desperate.
Do not ever talk about dates you have had with other people or your ex-girlfriends.
I can not stress these last two enough. All of the dates I've ever been on where the guys did this ended with a "Meeh" attitude in the end of the night. I really couldn't care less if I ever saw them again. If you want a follow up date from ANY girl, stay away from ex-girlfriend discussions, stop staring her in the eyes for minutes at a time, quit telling her how gorgeous she is constantly on the first date... all it does is make her feel uncomfortable and like you don't care about who she is, just what she looks like.
Don’t let your date last too long. Think of it like a good meal – you should finish your plate feeling like you want just a little more. This is the best time to finish a date. This also means that you should not plan for the date to be too far from home otherwise the travel can ruin things.
HOLY CRAP. I've had some seriously pitiful long dates. All I wanted to do was go home and the date just kept dragging it on and on and on. I felt rude saying that I needed to go home or that it was getting late for me, so I didn't for quite a while. I wanted to be polite. I'm sure there were a few first dates that would have seen a second date if they didn't try to stretch 5 hours into one dinner that started at 7pm. DO NOT make this mistake. The guys who did this to me ended up never getting a phone call through to me again.
It can be a very nice idea to give your date a small gift on the first date. Don’t go crazy on something expensive – just a nice little token like a single rose is fine. Keep in mind where you are going and how you plan to get there so your date does not end up being lumbered with something that she has to carry around all night. Oh – and don’t pick the rose from your dates garden – buy one.
I also think a man could pick a rose from his own garden, but that's just my opinion. I think one that was picked and brought is more special than one that was store bought... because that one was specifically picked. Thought went into it. Effort to cut the branch was exerted. I think it's very sweet. My 6th grade boyfriend did this for me and I'll never forget it as long as I live.
If you enjoyed your time with your date and would like to see her again, call her and tell her so. Don’t wait too long (and definitely don’t play hard to get). Be completely honest. Having said that, if you had an awful time, you should still be honest (though not brutal). There is no point in leading someone on – it will end up badly for both of you.
That means NO GAMES! Fellas, you all complain about the games that girls play, but you're just as guilty! There's a rule about how many days you're supposed to wait before you call a girl? Really? I'm calling bull$%!# on that one. That's just a stupid game. If you want a woman who doesn't play games with YOUR emotions, how about not setting up the chess board and moving the first pawn?
Well, that's about it for me. I hope you heed this advice and all goes well for you. I hope you all have a wonderful Valentines Day. If you use any of these tips, please write in and share with us all how they worked for you. Feel free to remain anonymous!