I received an email earlier and thought my response was worth sharing. I'm sure you can get an idea of what their email was about by mine.
That was far from pathetic. It was as you describe me - articulate and in touch with your core being. You say you seem to "bumble around through life," but is that not, in fact, what life as a whole is all about? Is that not what we all do? I have many plans that have not made it to fruition, and in my travels I often find myself bouncing from place to place - and Rudolph's Elven friend said it best - "Bumbles Bounce!"
I've had my share of hard times. To assume otherwise would be a deception. But I seem to bounce back every time, and THAT, my friend, is what makes us survivors. Not just human, not just people with souls, but true survivors - full of heart and fire and the will to not only survive, but to someday thrive.
Do not be so hard on yourself. Have faith in yourself and your abilities. Believe in YOU! Nobody is going to step in and do it for you. If to walk into a room with your head held high as if you own the building the room is situated within, nobody will dispute that. Nobody, that is, but the rightful owner. That's what has gotten me through so much. I'm not only unfortunate, but also very fortunate! There is always someone bigger and better out there - but from where I'm standing, they're nowhere near me at the moment. That makes me the master and commander of my own life, destination and reality.
I am no more a catch than a small salmon in a stream. But - that just mean I won't have the bears fighting over me in the spawning or the fishermen frying me up in the fall. I would prefer to be nothing more than what I am - average, simple and me.