Saturday, January 3, 2015

Insured? HA!!


What good is insurance if you still end up owing thousands of dollars in medical expenses?

I guess getting that diagnosis is out for a few more years. I'll need to make at least twice what I make now to continue with all the testing. I'll have my credit destroyed by then with these bills I can't afford to pay now. 

That's the absolute LAST time I go to the doctor under the misguided assumption that I'll be better off if I do. 


Insurance. 
What a freaking JOKE. 

Wish I hadn't spent all that money I had (and I do mean ALL of it is gone) on Christmas presents for people now. Next year I'm not buying a damn thing for anyone. 

But, there's a possibility that my request for government assistance (food stamps) won't be denied. 









Thursday, January 1, 2015

FLAT



According to Google, the word "Flat" is to be defined basically as an even surface.

In the United Kingdom and a few other places, a "Flat" is another word for an apartment.

Here in the USA, it's quite often preceded by the word "Broke" especially in my latest conversations.


It's the first of the year.  It's the time to start things off on a positive note.  Supposedly this sets the tone for the other 364 days to follow.

But stupid me - I spent all my money on Christmas presents this year and didn't save any for rent.

So while I'm trying to pay for my "Flat" I discover that I'm FLAT Broke!






I've been going over things in my head and on paper for hours.  I have no idea how I'll make it.  I need a second job, I guess, but I'm already so tired all the time I have no idea how I'll stay awake - and where would I find ANY second job that would ever be willing to work with the insane schedule I have at the airline!  Maybe it's time to rethink my career.


So as I try to calm myself from the virtual melt down I had less than 30 minutes ago (thank goodness I live alone) I've heated a can of beans I've had so long they were about to expire in February.  I didn't realize canned beans EVER expired.  Well, they aren't great, I'll tell you.  But they're free.  Not free, exactly, since I paid for them two years ago, but free in the sense that I don't have to spend money I don't have for my one meal of the day.


Now, I'm not THAT bad off.  I could afford to go buy eggs and bread if I desperately needed to, but if I can't afford my rent (due today) then obviously I need to save every penny possible to afford my rent when the time comes that I get another paycheck on the 7th.  Of course, by then I will owe a late fee of an extra $25, and I would probably spend more than that at a grocery store right now - so I'd rather eat my one can of beans and forgo the grocers in preparation of the difficult days ahead.


All my life I've heard the saying about never counting your chickens before they're hatched.  Yet, I find myself sitting here mentally kicking myself for depending on someone else as long as I did.  Eventually things run dry.  They always do.  People get tired of me or they decide that I'm not good enough for them or I'm not giving them everything they demand for their investment (that's what I am, you know... I'm just an investment like a fancy car or a 'flat' with an ocean view) I'm suddenly not a human being with emotions, needs, desires or concerns.  I'm an investment that's not longer paying off.  Screw that!


So here I am, regretting those chickens and eggs, wondering how I'll repair the basket I kept them all in, wishing I were more than just a bought and paid for commodity to others. 




I CAN NOT AND WILL NOT BE BOUGHT.


I'd rather be homeless first. 

The boys already have somewhere to go.  I made arrangements for them a few years ago.  And the woman I call my sister will take exceptionally good care of them, I know.  So even if I end this first month of 2015 living in my car, I have free parking at the airport and a free couch to crash on (sometimes) in the crew lounges across the country. 

Homeless might not be so bad for me.  Of course it means selling my stuff off except a few overnight outfits and my work uniforms, but I've been living out of a suitcase for 2 years now already.  Why not make the full transition?

If I'm going to be flat, I might as well make it stylish.



Search

Flat Definition

dictionary.search.yahoo.com
adj. adjective
  1. Having a smooth, even surface.
    a flat field.
  2. Having a relatively broad level surface in relation to thickness or depth.
    a flat box.
  3. Being in horizontal position; lying down.
    flat on his back.
adv. adverb
  1. Level with the ground; horizontally.
  2. On or up against a flat surface; at full length.
  3. So as to be flat.
n. noun
  1. A flat surface or part.
  2. A stretch of level ground.
    salt flats.
  3. A shallow frame or box for seeds or seedlings.



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