Monday, April 17, 2017

Are You Leaving?




You stuck with me through it all,
The move, the upheaval, the divorce.
You were there, never faltering,
Faithful and never wavering.
Yet as things got better,
You sent me away.

I sit here thinking to myself
"What did I do to him?"
I blame myself, even though
You've clearly said I shouldn't.
I did this to you, I know.
I killed your spirit.  Me.

Now you need time away from me
Just when I need you most.
This upheaval isn't complete yet
And you're no longer there.
I'm slipping down the well
Without a lifeline.

I pour myself into my work now,
For more than the simple reasons.
I need the money, I need the distraction,
But I need something to take your place.
I have friends.  Plenty of them.
But you're too distant for me to feel you are one.

I'm isolated, abandoned, alone
In a world still new to me.
You can't be my everything, I know.
But I have so little else.
No family, few local friends,
Even fewer I can trust.  

You're not my everything,
And I'll manage to prove that to you.
No, I have my jobs, my cats, my bills.
I have things that drag me down.
But so few to lift me up,
And now I feel you're gone too.

I may never get you back.
It's a reality I must face.
I'm brave enough to face it alone,
I just wasn't expecting to.
And yet...
Somehow...
I was.







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