Tuesday, January 14, 2025

The Art of Having a Constructive Conversation Without a Dismissive Comment.

 




🧐 Ever posted something on Facebook that’s meticulously researched, only to have someone drop a simple, “Source?” comment? Oh, the irony. It’s as if you’ve just shared a treasure map, and instead of appreciating the hard work and expertise that went into creating the post, someone’s sitting there with a shovel, asking, “But where’s the treasure?” You know, the one that could easily be found with a 30-second Google search. It’s almost like they think asking for a source somehow makes them a scholar, when in reality, it just makes them sound lazy.

📚 It’s funny how quickly people forget the power of their own devices. With the entire world’s knowledge at their fingertips, some folks still prefer to sit back and demand you do all the legwork. How many times have you seen someone type “source?” as if it's a magic incantation that will summon the truth, when really, they could’ve found it themselves in about the same amount of time it took to leave that comment? It’s like calling a pizza place to ask for their garlic bread recipe, instead of trying Google when they could've looked it up in thirty seconds using the same device they just used to make a five minute phone call.

🔍 The most frustrating part? These “source-seekers” don’t even bother to read the actual post. They see a carefully crafted, well-sourced historical post and think, “Nah, I’ll just ask for a citation, because that’s easier.” It’s like walking into a library, pointing to a book, and saying to the librarian, “Give me a list of pages where I can find the info.” Meanwhile, the book is sitting right there, begging to be opened. Instead, they sit in their digital recliners, waiting for someone to do their thinking for them.

📝 You know what’s even more amazing? When these same people would never ask for sources if the post were about something simple like "What’s your favorite pizza topping?" But throw in a historical fact or a scientific claim, and suddenly they're expecting you to be a personal research assistant. It’s as if they think your Facebook post should come with a bibliography and an annotated guide, despite the fact that they could’ve Googled it themselves with ease. Maybe they’re just trying to avoid the terrifying prospect of thinking for themselves.

💡 Imagine if, instead of asking for a source, they took a second to Google the claim. It’d take less time than typing “source?” and would save everyone involved the awkwardness of acting like an entire post's worth of effort is invalid because they didn’t feel like doing the research. It’s not hard to find, folks. It’s right there on the internet. You know, that thing that’s constantly in your pocket? It's got answers to all your burning questions. Google is free, and it’s fast. No need to test my patience with "source?"

🔗 Let’s not forget the emotional toll of being the human Google. Every time someone asks for a source, it feels like the equivalent of them not reading your book, then demanding you summarize the whole chapter for them. How about instead of asking for one source, we all agree to Google together? Maybe the next time someone demands a source, we should just respond with a polite, “Here’s a link to Google. I’ll meet you there.” It’s a game-changer.

🤣 In the end, though, it’s not about the sources. It’s about the digital laziness that’s become part of our culture. Asking for a source isn’t a grand intellectual move—it’s just someone trying to skirt the work of critical thinking while hoping you’ll do the hard part. Next time, maybe just ask them if they’ve tried using that thing called “Google.” You know, the one that’s just a click away. It’s like asking for a ride to the grocery store when you already have a car parked in your driveway.

© ABTS - Share, don’t steal.

#DoYourOwnResearch #GoogleIt #DigitalLaziness #FacebookFollies #SourcePlease

Friday, January 19, 2024

Family Monsters

Familial Trafficking survivors are trafficked within their own homes and communities by those who should be there to care, love, and protect them. As a result of the trafficker being a family member or caregiver, the survivors are never reported missing and there are no reports made to child protective services. There is no one looking for them.

As a movement, there must be a change in how we address child trafficking.

Exploitation of a Survivor

As a survivor leader I feel that it is my duty to inform.
I get regular requests to do interviews, speak or make videos on issues related to human trafficking.
If you request a survivor to make a video, do an interview or speak, please note that this is how many survivors earn a living. Therefore, if You ask for this without compensation, you are guilty of labor exploitation.
Further,
If you use our stories or images in a way that we have Not fully consented to, such as adding to them or using them with inappropriate images representing survivors, such as women or children tied up or in bondages of any kind. Then you are exploiting us for your own purposes without our express consent!

Please respect the voices of survivors by either taking down the inappropriate images, compensating survivors when you ask for these 'favors', and by being proactive by treating survivors as Professionals.

I am disturbed by the frequency I am getting asked by former law enforcement to do 'favors' for them by making videos for free!

Asking survivors to do videos or talks without compensation is another form of exploitation.
From now on, don't ask without first booking a paid appointment.

PAY the survivors!

It's a touchy subject for survivors and an eye rolling subject for others.

(In this post I'll focus on Human Trafficking survivors but this can be for any survivor.)

Many survivors are sick of not being paid. I see their posts and I hear their frustrations.

Trust me, I get it.

How do we stop this?
How do we get others to take us seriously?

First and foremost it starts with YOU.

If someone or any entity reaches out to you to share your story, and they have no funds to pay you or can't meet your price- you have to be okay with telling them no.

Do not waste your time getting upset or giving them a lecture on how you deserve to be paid. Just say no and move on.

Also- don't knock on other survivors who accept the gigs you said no to.

We need to empower each other NOT disapprove of each other.

Yes, you may be a survivor but speaking is a business. So treat it as such. You have to carry yourself in the same way you'd like to be treated.

With respect and grace.
(And no I'm not saying your not doing this. I'm just saying always carry yourself in this way when it comes to you and your speaking business.)

These networks talk about the good people just as much as they talk about the bad ones.

Another thing I'd like to share and some may come at me for it but at the end it's constructive NOT destructive.

Just because you have a story doesn't mean you're a great speaker.

Again, PUBLIC SPEAKING IS A BUSINESS.

Invest in yourself.
Dedicate time in becoming the best.
Don't compare yourself.
This is a unique niche and there's room for ALL of us.
Get a life coach.
Get a mentor.
Go on YouTube and watch free classes on how to be an even better speaker.
If you have the money, go to public speaking seminars.
Moxie Institute is where I went to learn from the best. My mentor introduced to this.
Appearance is everything. I mean this.
When I walk into a room people assume I'm a donor or CEO, never the speaker.
Learn business etiquette.
Know your audience- each speaking engagement that you do will be different.
Know who's hiring you.
It's nice to be paid, but if you accidentally associate yourself with something or someone that's crappy, it can bite you in the ass in the future.

There are plenty of people out there that will pay you for your time and speaking services.
I promise you that if you do these things, you will find them.

Survivors in the Field

Are you in the anti-trafficking field?
Do you employ survivors/lived experience experts?
Let's assume yes, because if the answer is no then… what are you even doing?

When you engage survivors to work with you, it's critical to remember that we aren't a box you check to get your funding. We are the lifeblood of this work. So let's make sure that all engagement with us is ethical!

1. Pay us. Real money. Not in exposure. Not in a free meal at your gala. A living wage.

2. Bring us in at the BEGINNING of the project. We have ideas and knowledge that you may not have and are happy to help you create the best version of whatever you are trying to do. We don't like being thrown completed projects and asked to do a 'once over' so you can label it 'survivor informed'.

3. Our story is our own. Some of us share, some don't. It's *never* okay to ask a survivor to share details of their exploitation for your benefit. Just don't.

This #humantraffickingawarenessmonth let's bring some awareness to how we treat the survivors IN the movement. We are a wealth of knowledge, empathy, care, compassion, and kindness and want to see you succeed! Let's work together so that can happen.

Friday, June 16, 2023

from Alcoholic to Author…

Rose Ann was a successful C-Suite executive and ministry leader in the church. She was a working mom of four and a social drinker. Over the years, life’s stresses and a difficult marriage created an environment where her alcohol usage increased significantly. After the collapse of her marriage, her drinking further escalated and she felt like a fraud with God and the Church. AA was not an option in her mind. She had already submitted to God and didn’t want to call herself an alcoholic. When COVID-19 hit, she enrolled in a coaching program to put alcohol to the side for three months. The rest has been an incredible journey of redemption and healing. This interview will impact your life in ways unimaginable. Come be inspired, LISTEN TODAY! https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/amandablackwood


Find this guest online:

www.theplanshehasforme.com


TRIGGER WARNING: In this episode I'm talking with a trauma survivor about their history and recovery. Suicide, child abuse, and PTSD are common themes.


Pairing of guest and podcast provided by #PodMatch. To book yourself as a guest through Podmatch sign up using this link: https://www.joinpodmatch.com/amanda




Saturday, December 3, 2022


Today I'd like to share a special message with you from author Jami Christine.
Jami was kind enough to join me on my podcast. We recorded her episode back in September, and what a remarkable woman she is.
Jami Christine was planning an at home birth for her first child. She had an overwhelming fear of hospitals, and a deep desire to give birth naturally. Unfortunately, life often pokes holes in the best made plans. Her son got stuck while Jami was in labor and she was sent to the hospital anyway. Jami found herself shutting down emotionally and mentally, and everything she did NOT want to happen, started to happen. She completely shut down emotionally and found herself completely disconnected during the c-section. Things only got worse from there for a while.



"My experience with trauma happened in 2011, when my dreams for a home birth with my first son got swept out from under me after my midwife detected a problem with his heart rate. After experiencing every intervention that I wanted to avoid, ending with an emergency c-section and a five-day stay at the hospital, I emotionally and mentally shut down and refused to believe what was happening to me.

"I was miserable, volatile, and borderline suicidal, and I realized I was turning out to be a terrible mother to my son in this condition. I joined a support group for cesarean moms, who then pointed me in the direction of counseling, and I began my journey to recovery. It took about two years to really overcome the brunt of it, but it required ongoing work beyond that, as well.

"I realize my downfall was my lack of flexibility. I refused to accept that anything other than a home birth was possible, and so when a trip to the hospital happened, I didn't know how to cope. One of my greatest lessons in this experience was the importance of accepting things as they happen. This is my advice to new mothers, too -- there's no way to prepare for a birth, so keep an open mind and be willing to go with the flow, and no matter what, STAY PRESENT. When I emotionally and mentally shut down in that hospital, my brain had a lot of work to do to recalibrate my emotions with my physical experience, and I learned later that that's what causes flashbacks: our brains keep trying to sync all that information up, and it results in replaying the trauma over and over in our minds.

"I later had a stroke, and that trip to the hospital was very different. Naturally I was scared, but I also had a new awareness that everything happens for a reason, and everything was going to work out the way it was meant to. I remained present in the experience, and I never experienced a trauma response afterwards. I also made a full recovery. This experience opened my eyes to the importance of acceptance, of presence, and of trust.

"These experiences inspired my novel, The Transcendent, which is due to release early next year. I also published a nonfiction, Transcend Your Story: A Guide to Transforming Your Healing Journey into an Inspirational Novel. My hope is that this book can help other aspiring authors take their own traumatic experiences and transform them into a story of healing and growth that can go on to inspire others on their own journeys. You can learn more about my books and my offerings on my website, www.JamiChristine.com."





Follow Jami Christine online
@authorjamichristine (FB & IG),
@jamichristine11 (TikTok),






Listen Jami on the Podcast





Do you have an amazing story? Get interviewed. Send an email to AuthorAmandaBlackwood@gmail.com or click on the calendar date that fits you best. https://calendly.com/detailedpieces/podcast-interview


The Art of Having a Constructive Conversation Without a Dismissive Comment.

  🧐 Ever posted something on Facebook that’s meticulously researched, only to have someone drop a simple, “Source?” comment? Oh, the irony....