I've been working on one letter in my head now for years, but I'll probably never have the courage to send it. It wouldn't do any good to send it anyway... it would only bring someone else the misery I have brought upon myself in this years-long heartache I've felt.
We all have those moments in our lives when we look back and reflect. Most people have things they would go back and do differently. I was never that sort of person. I always thought that if something happened, it was because it was meant to happen. Our fate wouldn't pass us by, would it?
Well, somehow along the road it has for me. I took a wrong path. I took the left fork down the dark road rather than the right path to the happiness I so richly desire, and in some respects, deserve...
There aren't a whole lot of things I would do differently if I got the chance to do them all again. In fact, I can really only think of one... and I'd change that in a heart beat. It was years ago now, but it remains fresh in my mind every day of my life as though it happened yesterday. It breaks my heart each moment I think about it, and yet I can't help but to remember.
I want to remember. I don't want to remember so that I'm sad, but rather to remember because I was so happy then. It was a special time in my life and I know now that I will never have that again, but I'll never let go of that memory - and that memory will live forever. In that memory, a piece of me will live on and stay fresh within that moment, within that emotion, for as long as I live.
RE: April 1st, 2009