I tried. Nobody can say I didn't try.
I wrote a letter to my former roommate today, letting her know it was time to stop beating a dead horse, making a spectacle of trying to ignore me and move on. I did it as nicely as I could... This is what my letter said...
This has gone on long enough. I can't stay quiet anymore.
I know this won't be kept private. I know this will likely be shown to everyone you know, and you have every right to do that. This is your letter, written for you, and it's now your private possession. You may destroy it, burn it, tear it up, spit on it - whatever you wish. I'ts yours. But I wanted you to know...
If I had been prostituting my body out or was only interested in money, I would have just married [my former employer] when he asked me to go to Fiji and Cayman with him. The honest truth is that I didn't want his money. What I wanted was someone to love me for who I was - whether they lived in a mansion on the beach or a cardboard box in an alley. If I had been doing that, you would have known before anyone else - since we not only shared a roof, but a room. I'm a broken person and I wouldn't wish that on anyone, even if they paid me. Especially if they thought they needed to pay me.
If I had done certain things to you, I would not have remained silent about it. I would have boldly come forward and said that yes, it was me. I am not the type to hide. The fact that your finger is still pointed at me only leaves you more vulnerable to whoever it actually was. That makes me worry about you. Please take care of yourself. Find out who this is and press charges. I won't go into details but the same thing just happened to me, so you're not alone.
I freely admit that I lied to you about having paid off your debt to [my former employer]. That was because you didn't know him as I did and I figured you would be more willing to pay me the money to give to him than you would to him. I couldn't afford to pay him myself and I needed your help to do it. I'm very glad to hear from your mom that you have now entered into an agreement with [my former employer] and are paying back the debt now. I know he appreciates it. I knew the day we got the loan from him that you would pay him back. I had total faith and confidence in you that day. For lying to you, I'm sorry.
I would prefer that neither of us feel we must stop our jobs or whatever we are working on in order to face away from one another in an obvious display of ignoring the other. I'm not asking you to be my friend or even like me. Truth be told, I would prefer you not. I'm not like you - you shouldn't want to be friends with someone like me. We're two completely different people from two completely different worlds. That will never change.
But for old time's sake - for the sake of Thursday morning breakfasts at Maratha's on 22nd Street, or the meals at Denny's, the road trip, the adventures, the fun times... lets just go about our lives and do our jobs to the best of our abilities. [Your employer] needs you. [My employer] needs me. Let's stop trying so hard to ignore one another. I wouldn't mind saying good morning or good bye to you once in a while, just because you're there. Whatever else either of us may be, we are both human and we both have hearts.
It's been a rough start to the year, and already this year is nearly half over. Lets just let sleeping dogs lie. Lets bury the dead horse in the ground, not continue to beat it.
I folded my letter and put it into an envelope. From there, I mixed it in with the mail for the Animal Rescue she works at and I left.
When later I returned to my car, I found an envelope on my windshield.
This is what I got in return.
Perhaps that explains why she stops everything she's doing when I walk into a room in order to make a very blatant display of showing me what the back side of her pony tail looks like. I admit, I feel sorry for anyone on the other side of her when she does that. All they can see are nose hairs.