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This blog has been removed. If you're interested in reading the original first hand account of the kidnapping, please check out th...
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I wanted to crawl back under the covers and hide. I wanted to cry myself to sleep, but sleep had already eluded me for the last 7 hours I&... -
On my way to work this morning I heard a song that reminded me of my childhood. The singer mentioned something about calloused hands and I ...
You have the makings of a terrific novelist!! Too bad this is all true stuff!! You're a tough chick!! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Vicki!
ReplyDeleteFrightening. Thank you for sharing this. How has this affected you in the long term? Has it colored your relationships with men?
ReplyDeleteActually it did for a long time. Now I refuse to let it do so. I don't know how I got past it - but somehow I did. Though I will admit - there are some things I refuse to tolerate in any relationship, and that might be based on this situation. Jealousy, lies, manipulation, violence and hiding things from me are a few of them. Each are found in this story, and that probably has a LOT to do with why I will write someone off at the first sign.
ReplyDeleteThanks for commenting, Tony! How did you find my blog?
I'm not really sure how I did find your blog. Sounds funny I know. Did you ever do a search and click on a few links and suddenly find something interesting but have no idea how you got there? I was doing a search on Prague since I'm going back there next month and eventually landed on your Prague page.
ReplyDeleteI don't want to sound too forward, so please tell me to mind my own business if you want, but how did being raped affect your attitude about sex? I'm a guy so obviously I can't relate personally but two different girlfriends of mine have been raped. One happened before we met and the other while we were dating. They were both sweet girls and should never have had to endure such a thing. The odd thing is that they both handled it very differently.
Suzanne was raped as a teenager before she and I began dating. I can talk about her later if you want, but suffice it to say her rape seems to have awaked her sexually. Six months ago my fiance Angela was raped by a gang of men while she was on a business trip. She's never been able to get over it. I've tried to help but my trying to fix things has only made it worse. She's decided that she can't marry anyone and hasn't returned my calls in three weeks. She says she can't look at me or any other man without reliving that night. I also feel responsible, like I should have been there to protect her even though I know rationally that it wasn't my fault since it happened in Chicago so I could not have been there.
Anyway, I'm glad you got beyond what must have been a horrible experience. Being forward again, I'm curious, looking back, how you think being raped affected your sex life.
Ms. Blackwood, I think I should apologize. Reading my comments here they seem pretty callus and unfeeling. I was (am) just very concerned about my friend Angela. We've now met for lunch once since her attack. She's very messed up because of it and she's gone back to not returning my calls or the calls of our friends.
ReplyDeleteAt lunch she told me again that she couldn't stand to look at me because I'm a man. The day before she left on her trip she told me I was the most handsome man she'd ever met and that she thought we made a beautiful couple. Now I'm sure I'm far from the most handsome man around. SHE's gorgeous and I feel more handsome when I'm with her, but I'm no George Clooney. But the point is that she said that before this happened and now she can't even look at me, like I'd been one of her attackers.
I feel very guilty for not being able to protect her even though I was thousands of miles away. So I feel hurt because I think she's being unfair and even more guilty because that's making this about me. It isn't at all about me. I was safely at home while she was alone in a strange city being gang raped. I sure wish I could help her cope with it and help her laugh again. She used to always laugh. That's why I asked how you dealt with it. I'd hoped you might be able to give me some insight into how she's feeling. But that isn't fair to you. Your rape and how it affected you is none of my business.
Please forgive me for intruding.
My Dear, while your intentions are surely noble (or at least I hope) I can honestly say that my "Sex life" is none of your concern. Further more, I'm not a councilor. Perhaps you should take this to a psychiatrist or some other doctor. It might help YOU to figure out what is and isn't proper conversation with total strangers, how to approach your girlfriend in this matter, how you can help her, and exactly what it means to ask a LADY about her sex life publicly on the internet. I find it highly disrespectful and I don't appreciate it one bit.
ReplyDeleteK - thx - bye.
Ms. Blackwood, I'm very sorry to have offended you. You write so candidly here I sometimes forget that it's a public blog. I really was not intending to pry into your sex life -- just your reaction to what must have been a very traumatic event. As a guy I can't even begin to relate. I'm sorry to have stepped over the line. Please forgive me. I think my intentions are noble but that's no excuse for offending you. Please keep up the extraordinary writing.
ReplyDeleteMs. Blackwood, and anyone else who has found your blog an engaging read. I wanted to let you know that we found a group of people who have organized The Pandora Project for people who have suffered sexual violence and their friends and loved ones. The have a very good web site at http://www.pandys.org. Angela has found many ladies there whom she can relate to and it seems to have helped her. Thanks for sharing your thoughts here.
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