After much thought I think I've finally discovered what my problem is when I get into relationships. I'm too contradictory.
I always want a smart man, but I don't like being made to feel stupid or silly, so I'm intimidate by those smarter than I am.
I always want a funny guy. Witty makes my heart pound. But at the same time I want to be able to turn it off like a switch, to be presentable in a fine dining establishment without my date acting like Robin Williams on a late night talk show.
I want a guy who respects me and treats me like a lady, but who doesn't care when I belch with the boys or play poker and smoke cigars all night.
I always wanted someone handsome (or at least someone I find handsome) but who has no jealousy issues.
I always wanted the brutally honest truth, but I never wanted to have my feelings hurt.
I contradict myself in my own wants and desires. Unless I can sort things out in my own head I'm destined to keep screwing things up over and over again. I've lost a few good men. I'm tired of hurting. I'm tired of walls. I tired of lies and manipulation and jealousy. But most of all - I tired of ME.
I wanted to crawl back under the covers and hide. I wanted to cry myself to sleep, but sleep had already eluded me for the last 7 hours I&...
On my way to work this morning I heard a song that reminded me of my childhood. The singer mentioned something about calloused hands and I ...
Relationships are a series of compromise. You must decide what you can accept and what is a deal breaker. Most people accept themselves because you are stuck with your own contradictory behavior. It's the same with someone you make a commitment too. The perfect mate does not exist but that does not mean you must be alone.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure you'll find your man one day Amanda. Try not to get down about it. He's out there somewhere.
ReplyDeleteSteve