First Date

I was a teen run away.

I started at 16 years old and never really stopped until a few years ago. Finally, after spending almost half of my life running from the monster under the bed, I got tired of it. I ended the pattern with a new approach to life in general. It was a gradual change, I suppose. Though to me it seems to have happened almost over night, almost like I simply... woke up.

The first time I ran away, I was only 15 years old. My parents were coming down on me really hard and accusing me of things I had never even thought of doing. I had been accused of being on drugs since I was 13 years old and didn't even know what marijuana looked like. By the time I was 15 all of my parents friends thought I was sleeping around with anyone and everyone. In reality, I was still a virgin. More than once my mother threatened to take me to the doctors to verify that fact, but my parents never followed through with that threat. I wish they had.

I stayed with a male friend of mine the first time I ran away. He lived just down the street and his mom was out of town for a couple of weeks. I stayed in his room and he slept on the couch during that time. I always thought that was very kind of him. I had a huge crush on him at the time, but that never became an issue. We never so much as held hands. I knew what people would say and think if it became common knowledge, so we did what we had to in order to prevent people from finding out. That was the moment I knew I could trust Steve with my life.

I was working at Wendy's in Roy, Utah at the time. It was easily 3 miles from Steve's house, and I walked to work every single day while I stayed with him. I would work my entire shift, then turn around and walk back down the hill toward my temporary home. For the first time in my life, I felt a taste of freedom and I loved it. I couldn't imagine life any other way, and from that moment on, that was all I wanted. I wanted to have a chance to go to work and go home, to take care of myself, come and go as I pleased and know that I never once had to sacrifice my morals in order to accomplish my day to day life.

One night while working the change window at the Wendy's drive thru, a guy from school came in to the restaurant. He knew that I looked familiar and asked which school I went to. Right off the bat I knew who he was. I was amazed he even looked my direction. The Libby's were popular kids in school, and I was scum in the bottom of the tank of small fish in the big school. When he asked for my phone number and invited me to go play miniature golf, I thought it must be a joke!

We had a glorious time that night. We played miniature golf for the first time in my life. We stayed out until around 9:30 at night and then went over to his cousins house, where we sat in a group of 5, watching a favorite Disney movie. I was tired from work though and ended up falling asleep on the couch, my head leaned back against a very soft pillow. When Andrew woke me up later on to drive me home, I was incredibly embarrassed that I had fallen asleep in the first place.

I kissed Andrew on the cheek and for some reason I expected a call from him the next day. The call didn't come that day or the next. Nor did it come the next week, and by the time I had gone back home to my parents, I had all but forgotten about Andrew. I could only think that perhaps he didn't have fun with me, or he simply didn't like me.

When school started back up, I passed Andrew in the hallway one day. I said hello, he looked in my direction and simply nodded. He didn't say hello, he didn't smile. He didn't even really seem to recognize me at all! I was crushed. I had actually had a lot of fun, and Andrew Libby was my first date.

There's a strange unspoken rule still very much alive in the small town in which I lived. I wasn't a part of the religion, and I wasn't willing to convert. To many people (not all, but many) that was like having a swastika tattooed on my forehead. Andrew Libby found out somehow that I wasn't a member of the same religion, and because of that simple fact, was told not to speak to me again.

Steve remained my best friend for many years. When the world turned its back on me, he was my brother. When things went well for me, he was there to pat me on the back. There were times that Steve was more of a family to me than my own family was. I'll always love Steve for that.

Steve's little brother was another story though... Dan and I were involved in Breaking and Entering a private property. But that's another story.

Found it on Craigs List

A young man posted a note on Craigs List asking who the woman was drawing hearts in the dirt on the back window of his car recently. I found the note and knew instinctively who it was. Thinking I was doing a 'good deed', I informed the young man of what I knew.

"I'm not the person drawing the hearts on your dirty black eclipse back window, but I may know who is. I believe it's my neighbor in the Xxxxx Xxx appartments on the Island. For privacy sake I won't say which appartment, but I will say the suspect has long brownish red hair."

He responded not long afterward with an excited email.

"You know something!
I know a handful of people on Naples, but no one with brown-red hair. Unless she dyed it... and is also 5'11 and a ballet dancer...
can you say anything more???"

My response was:

"I don't think it's someone you know. She's rather pretty, between 5'6 and 5'9. If you're home, she just walked past and told me she was going to head to Albertson's to get some groceries. Act fast. She drives a black Toyota."

Again he asked her hair color, and this time, ethnicity. I told him.

"As I said, long brownish red hair. She's Caucasian. Blue eyes. Can't miss her. She stands out like a sore thumb. She just walked out the door on her way to Albertson's."

My neighbor did go to Albertson's. She returned within a half an hour though, and I knew nothing good could have happened. I asked her where her groceries were.

"My check card was declined for some strange reason. I have to figure out what's going on now," and she went inside. She didn't mention if someone had talked to her in Alberstson's, or if she got any strange looks...

Which brings me back to the whole Craig's List phenomenon. If someone is looking for a 'missed connection' hard enough to post it on Craig's List, wouldn't they have the courage to walk up to some girl in Albertson's and say hello? My neighbor isn't exactly an ugly girl. It surprises me that this person, after looking hard enough to post it publicly on Craigs List didn't even make a half assed attempt to talk to the mysterious woman he may have possibly been looking for.

It's no surprise, though. This sort of thing happens every day. Men are intimidated by the power a woman possesses when she walks with confidence and ease. If they see a pretty girl, it's automatically assumed that she has a boyfriend or she's married, or worse yet, just not interested in "a guy like that". Unfortunately this stigma means more pretty girls have to either become overly aggressive to get a date, or they remain single for astronomical periods of time. This is exactly the opposite of what today's culture would have us believe.

I'm not exactly the most gorgeous woman out there, but I'm certainly not ugly either. I walk with my head held high and an air of confidence about me that's undeniable. I'm strong, powerful, confident, and not half bad to look at. Instantly I'm either "bitchy" or taken, in the eyes of every man that sees me. The majority of people who speak to me are either slime ball men who make cat calls and dirty remarks, or think "Hey Baby" is a good pick up line, or some elderly woman complimenting me on my haircut. Do you know what that does to a single girl's Love Life? The term "Love Life" can be flushed down the toilet in a pretty girls world... especially if she's shy.

I do walk with that air of confidence I just mentioned - but that's largely a self defense mechanism. Sure, I can take down a grown man without much force and leave him crying in tears that would make a three year old blush in jealousy (but that's just another form of self defense). I have no problem standing up for myself or defending myself.

People should understand that I'm not aggressive. I am actually very shy when I'm alone. I don't make the first move. I smile a lot - that IS my first move. I can hold a conversation with anyone on the planet as long as we are speaking the same language. I have stories galore and I love to make people laugh - but do you have ANY idea how often it is that I actually start the conversation unless it's someone I know well or I have a specific purpose for speaking to them?

So my advice is this - Guys, grow a pair. I'm not the only girl out there who has felt like this. There are SOOO many pretty girls out there that stay home on a Friday or Saturday night because they don't do the Bar thing, or because don't have anyone to go with. Like me, they just don't want to put themselves out there like a New York Strip Steak in a butchers window and go to a bar alone.

And as for the guy on Craig's List - well, he missed out on something really great.