Haunting Blue Eyes

Originally posted to Myspace Feb 23, 2004


The first time he came to visit me was in a dream when I was only around 7. I had met a boy at school I developed a crush on. For a long time that boy wouldn't pay any attention to me. Finally one day he smiled at me. We started to talk, and eventually, Travis decided he liked me back. The day he admitted to it, I was floating on cloud 9. I was a homely child - it was the first time a boy I had liked actually felt the same way back.

That night I went to sleep, peaceful and happy. The dream that followed haunted me for many years.

I was standing with a flag in my hand. It was a black and white racing checkered flag. Far off, in the distance, stood two people. One was Travis, the boy I liked. The other was a complete stranger. Somewhere in the distance, a shot rang out and the two of them suddenly bolted. They were close for a while, Travis gaining at one point, the stranger at another. As I watched, they made a great arc across the ground, and came running at the white line I found myself standing over. Travis sped up and looked like he was about to win when the stranger suddenly picked up speed and beat Travis by a foot fall.

The stranger walked calmly up to me as though he had not just run a challenging race. His black hair was long and some of it was hanging around his eyes. Still, through the midnight color framing his face, I could see his stunning blue eyes. He reached in, looked me in the face, and opened his mouth to say something. That was when I woke up sitting straight up in bed. It was too late, though. I couldn't see Travis in the same light after that. I started to look into the faces of strangers for the blue eyes that haunted me.

For months I had that dream every time I fell asleep. He never got to say anything because I always woke up. Eventually the dream stopped comming all the time, and started to only come whenever I started to date someone new. Those blue eyes would always come back to haunt me after the first date. It was the new guy in my life and him, always in a race, and he was always the winner.

The dream finally stopped comming all together when I hit about 18. That was 6 years ago now, and for a while I actually tried to have the dream. I tried to think about it as I fell asleep. The dream wouldn't come.

Until 2 nights ago.

It wasn't the same dream, but it was close.

At the end of the dream, the man I had fallen in love with was sitting in a chair, getting ready to leave. His blue eyesstared straight ahead, his black hair framing his face. He had a 2 day growth on his face, and I'd never seen anything more beautiful. 

"I tried to leave you once," he said. "I coudn't stay away. Please, you must find me. I'm here, just waiting for you." 

Once more I woke up.

Those eyes have haunted me ever since - both sleeping and awake. I cant seem to get them out of my mind. I search in the face of strangers once more as I did when I was a kid, looking for the blue eyes that are waiting for me - always reaching for me.

Perhaps I'm too much of a romantic - and perhaps not. Part of me wonders if the man from my dream actually exists. I've heard people express themselves by saying "He was the man of my dreams," but in all reality, how many were of true dreams rather than an idea they had in mind? I venture to guess not many.