I
use the term "long ago" not as a measure of time, but as a measure of
maturity and miles. I'm a different person than I was when I modeled,
though still so much the same. Life's circumstances have changed so
much about me and my outlook on certain aspects of life - including the
wonderful gift of never judging people by their outward appearance, but
by their heart. I modeled for Harley Davidson Motorclothes a few years ago, but
that's such a small part of my life that it's not really a part of who I
am, so when I look back on it, it seems so much more a distant memory
than some of my most vivid memories of my mid-teen years. I left the
modeling industry because I'm scarred, imperfect and proud of it. I
also got too old. It's a cutthroat industry, and if you're not a big
name by the age of 24, you're washed up and long in the tooth. Seems
silly and impractical to me. That was also about 40lbs ago... I don't
feel like starving myself anymore to fit the generalization of what we
as a society consider to be beautiful. I am me. I have a heart and a
soul too big for my body to contain, so trying to fit it all into a size
2 jeans just doesn't really suit me as a person anymore. I'd rather
have Rita Hayworth's curves and pride than Paris Hilton's vapid
expression or Calista Flockhart's anorexic frame.
My father was military so we moved around a lot. I'm not really 'from' anywhere. I was born in Germany, but I'm not German. Los Angeles is the longest I've ever lived anywhere in my life, so these days I call it home. I
didn't go to college for very long, I'm afraid. I went to Pasadena
City College for Physics, but at the time I was working three jobs as
well, trying to put my ex-husband through school. The classes I took
were more of a hobby at the time, rather than anything I would have time
to take seriously. Someday I hope to take much more school classes,
but for now I'm lucky to make ends meet. That's ultimately what brought
me to the website.
Being a flight
attendant is the perfect job for me. We all start out at Reserve
status, but I'm hoping to be what we call a "line holder" within the
year, two at the most.
I wouldn't say
I've had a charmed life, exactly. I was a teen runaway, constantly
searching for a better life. I'm
basically alone in the world with few family who care and few friends to speak
of. It's all been through sheer luck, hard work, determination and
kindness that I've been able to do the amazing things I've done. I've
made some great friends over the years, but they're so spread out these
days that I hardly ever see them. I never really tried to dine with
stars or go to red carpet events, or even attend embassy dinners. They all just sort of... happened.
When the opportunities presented themselves, who was I to say no? It's
been by the grace of God that my life has turned out the way it has.
I've had high points and I've had equally low points - and I'd need a
scale of novel proportions to discover which there are more of, but I
know which one has more weight in my life. I don't dwell on the bad
things, and take them all as a positive, because they've all turned me
into the person I am today. And I love my life.
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