Vanilla Sky

"It's the little things. There's nothing bigger, is there..."

I've taken several of my favorite lines from the infamous film mentioned in the title of this blog that provoked deep thought within me, forcing me to face some things I've not really sat down and thought about before... and I'd like to share those thoughts.  They're the little things in life, but they really are the biggest moments I've known.

"Every passing minute is a chance to turn it all around."

A few days ago, someone told me to watch the movie "Vanilla Sky" and finally, I did.  I had been searching for something - anything - to capture my full attention for longer than ten minutes.  In this day and age, I'm so accustomed to multitasking that I can't seem to really devote my attention to one thing at a time.  This has been a good reminder that I need to unplug.  I need to escape from the day to day distractions and really focus on what I want to do.  It's never too late, after all.  I can turn it all around at a moment's notice and really focus all of my attention on the things I'm passionate about.  I think, perhaps, it's time I did.


"Once you've been driven off a bridge at 80 miles an hour, you don't invite happiness in without a full body search."

 Some of you may remember the blog post I wrote a few years ago about how I was driven off a cliff in the back seat of a pickup truck and could have easily died.  This statement, and the way it was made, with the once powerful man sitting in a corner against a wall, hiding behind a mask... this struck a chord with me and I haven't been able to shake it. 

I had lost my trust for mankind long before that moment, but that defining moment is one I can absolutely pinpoint my anger and hatred for drunks on.  Someone I once trusted with my life abused that trust and nearly killed me simply because he had too much to drink and made a stupid decision.  Since then I've had my share of broken hearts, over and over, never really able to understand why until long after they're done.  I've learned not to trust and not to believe in happiness without doing some serious searching.  He was right... "Once you've been driven off a bridge at 80 miles an hour, you don't invite happiness in without a full body search."

"The sweet is never as sweet without the sour."
I'd never have known all the heartache if I hadn't known all the love.  The reverse is every bit as true.  I've searched and longed for that fairytale ending.   I thought that's what life was about, and why we were put on this planet.  Finally, I learned the truth - and the truth was a bitter pill to swallow.  But the bitterness gave way to the sweetest wines from the most sour of grapes.  One cannot exist without the other.  And in the end, would we even want it to?  We cannot truly appreciate what we have until it's gone.  We cannot claim to love if we cannot loathe.  There is no good without the bad, no black without the white, no stars without the darkness.  Life is so much more than just searching for that proverbial "one" who completes us.  Life has a million of those people out there.  They all complete us because they are all a part of our life, and our lives are a never ending circle of continuous connections.  They complete that circle, no matter how many or how few they are.  And of all the sweet things I've known, so few can ever compare to a solid connection based on understanding, trust, friendship, loyalty, truth and commonality.  So to the person who told me to watch this movie, wherever you are as you're reading this, I just want to say thank you.  Thanks for being the 'sweet' in the swirling of sour.

"What's happiness to you, David?"

"I'll tell you in the next life. When we are both cats."

Good morning!

Sometime in the early morning hours, I awoke to a rhythmic noise, punctuating and piercing my dreams. My ears tried to block the sound as I attempted to sleep through it, and as it ripped the last of the cloud-world of my imagination from the frontal cortex of my lofty head,  I told myself it was construction workers. 

Only to discover upon full alertness that it was my own air conditioner, and the melatonin hangover causing it to sound like a jackhammer starting up in my kitchen. 

I desperately wanted to go straight back to sleep so that I might continue the dream I had been having regarding a continuation of real life events from the previous night. Sadly, I was left with new dreams instead. 

Good morning, World. 

Negativity

Some people just don't understand what "honesty" means. 

I asked someone who was complaining about life and how things are sometimes to read my Florida Nightmare story about being kidnapped. I wanted them to understand human nature was to overcome adversity and to contue to survive until at last we thrive. 

He responded in less than 3 minutes with "what a nice story" and it blew my mind. I then went on to tell him (he was attempting to become a flight attendant) that I preferred to work with honest people I knew I could trust with my life and perhaps this wasn't the right job for him. 

I excused him from further communications from me, and less than two minutes later I received an email alerting me to the arrival of a new blog comment. When I looked, my suspicions were confirmed and I added one more IP address to the list of IP addresses blocked from commenting on my blog again. 

It's sad, really - having people believe their only course of action to take when being found in a lie is a pathetic attempt to be rude. Honestly it just made me laugh. 

So, here for your viewing pleasure, a screen shot from my phone of the emailed comment, awaiting approval. Of course is was denied. 

But in case anyone ever wants to find out why he would be so idiotic, he was kind enough to leave his email address for you. 

 

Inappropriate Passengers

His eyes searched me up and down as we walked in opposite directions, toward one another.  I ignored him.  I'd gotten good at ignoring men like that over the years, but I wish I hadn't needed to.  As he passed, he leaned toward me slightly and moaned into my ear.  HE MOANED.

I ignored it.  I kept walking.  I was angry.  I was disgusted.  I wished I wasn't in uniform so I could say something to him or do something about it.  But really, what difference did the uniform make?  Flight Attendants are harassed day in and day out by passengers we are dedicated to keeping safe from all harm. In thanks, we get poked, prodded, pinched, harassed and fondled.  We are treated as though we were nothing more than an amusement put here to make them horny and then satisfy their needs.  He looked at me, not as though I were a human being, but as though I were the star of a pornography film or a stripper dancing around a pole.  He didn't see me as the professional I was, but as an object of his lust.

I couldn't let it go... I tried, but I couldn't.  

I stopped dead in my tracks.  I turned and walked after him.

"Excuse me," I said in s sweet, gentle, sultry voice.  He turned.  He stopped.  His grin expanded and I could read what the hamsters in his head were trying to spell out through the spinning of that wheel.  'I knew it' his eyes seemed to say.  'She's mine.  She wants me.'

"Excuse me," I said again, this time loud enough to get the attention of people passing by.  People turned to look.  "But you're a disgusting human being, and I hope the next person you say that to has the fortitude and strength to punch you in the nose and break it.  I might give it a try myself if I weren't in uniform."  I smiled, proud of myself.  "Have a nice day."

I wasn't proud for standing up for myself, but rather I was proud of standing up for my profession.  We are SO much more than walking sex symbols.

I'm not too upset by it now. At the time it angered me. But having said and done something about it gave me the feeling of control back that he tried in vane to take away from me. 

It happens. And it will continue to happen as long as people don't do or say something about it. If we don't take a stand they will continue to think it's ok. 

In a classic 1940s film called "The Lady Says No" a woman counteracted this kind of behavior in a very peculiar way.  

"Oh, was that for me? Little old me with no makeup. I'm not even wearing my lipstick." 

She then pulled out her lipstick while saying this, leaned in like she was going to kiss him, then drew a line from the center of his brows to the tip of his nose, being sure to "dot" the exclamation mark she had drawn down his face. 

He pulled out a handkerchief to wipe it away. She told him "you don't want to use that. Use this." Then she grabbed his shirt and yanked it out from his waistband and handed it to him, exposing his white flesh beneath. 

I've always wanted to do that. He was lucky I wasn't carrying my lipstick.