Mine for Tonight

Hold on to me
Lead me on all you like
I’ll smile for you now,
But you’ll leave me later tonight.

Keep reaching for my hand.
It’s here for you to hold
I can feel myself falling for you
But I shouldn’t be so bold.

Tell me I’m the only one.
Leave me with a smile.
Later I’ll have time for doubts.
I want to be happy a while.

Spend all the time you can
Taking me out with you.
It’s not until we’re really apart
That I’m ever feeling blue.

I know I’m not the only one.
You’ve told me that yourself.
I’ll mourn the day I loose you
And you place me upon that shelf.

But for now you’re mine each day
I’ll never take that for granted
I’ll smile at you and kiss your neck
And hope to God you're enchanted.

You’re mine for tonight.
I’ll hold you as long as you allow.
I’ll run my fingers through your hair
And live for here and now...



Amanda Martin
08/07/06

The Handshake

That initial attraction speaks volumes about a person. Sometimes all it takes is a smile across a room, a greeting, an introduction or a handshake.

He shook my hand with eagerness. It was obvious he thought I was an attractive female. I'm not one to see myself for my physical appearance, and actually ignore it completely unless applying my makeup in the morning. I don't see myself as pretty or attractive, but rather as smart, driven and determined. I blushed instinctively.

I could tell just from looking at him that my head would fit perfectly on his shoulder, but I also knew that I shouldn't have such thoughts the first time I met someone. His eyes burned into me, his smile warmed me, his touch made my hand burn with a pleasant tingle. There was no denying it, there was something special about him.

That was too long ago to want to admit. I didn't do anything about it.

I won't let another opportunity like that to pass me by.

I'm doing something about it this time...

No Beauty Here

The following definitions were taken directly from dictionary.com today. After you've had the chance to go through them, I'll explain to you why I do not see myself as pretty.

pretty adj. prettier, prettiest
1). Pleasing or attractive in a graceful or delicate way.
2). Very bad; terrible: in a pretty predicament.
3). Considerable in size or extent: a pretty fortune.
4). Ostensibly or superficially attractive but lacking substance or conviction: full of pretty phrases.
5). To a fair degree; moderately: a pretty good student.


First of all, the girls that were referred to as pretty when I was in school fit one or more of the definitions on a daily basis. I, however, never really conformed to any of these definitions. Shall I explain?



1). Pleasing or attractive in a graceful or delicate way.

First of all, I'm far from graceful. I've been told by many people that I was the clumsiest person they had ever met. Graceful is defined as showing grace of movement. I dont think you can call someone who trips going UP the stairs a very graceful person. I trip over my own feet, whether I have shoe laces dangling on or not. I'm also pretty much a tomboy.

Second, I'm not exactly delicate. I admit, I may have a few delicate features, but I am not delicate. Delicate is defined as frail in constitution or health. I'm actually about as healthy as a horse, and not at all frail in construction! If you're looking for another definition, we could always go with easily broken or damaged. I'm neither of these things. If you've read any of my previous blogs, you know this about me already. I'm actually extremely durable, and have learned to NOT break or damage easily. Actually, rather than a porcelain sculpture, I'm more like a rubber ball. I bounce back pretty quickly! The dictionary.com site goes on to say that the word can also be defined as marked by sensitivity of discrimination. Also not me. I'm numb to being discriminated against. It's happened too often. Requiring tactful treatment? FAR from me Treat me like one of the guys and I'm as happy as I can be.



2). Very bad; terrible: in a pretty predicament

I believe this one to be pretty self explanatory. I don't believe that anyone here can say that I'm very bad (unless you know me better than I thought). But I'm certainly not terrible!



3). Considerable in size or extent: a pretty fortune

I think this one is also pretty self explanatory. I'm not a very big girl. I mean, I'm only a whole 5'6" tall and the shortest person in my family. I'm fairly small about the middle, have basically no chest to think about, and (the way I see it) I dont have a bubble butt, so there is nothing about me that is of a considerable size or extent.



4). Ostensibly or superficially attractive but lacking substance or conviction: full of pretty phrases.

I would like to think that I'm far from superficial. I believe I DO contain both substance and conviction. In fact, I have so much substance that I cant seem to fit it all into the one book I wrote! I instead have had to start another one. Conviction is defined as a fixed or strong belief. Conviction? Ask anyone who knows me well and they can tell you just how much conviction I have.



5). To a fair degree; moderately: a pretty good student.

I have to say that this one probably gets to me the most. I've worked very hard to not be "moderate" at anything. I'm a pretty tuff cookie. If I say I'm going to do something, I do it! If I am going to try to do something, Im not going to give up on it until I get it right. I'm a borderline perfectionist. There is not an option for me to do things to a "fair" degree. It's all or none.


So here it is. These are the reasons I don't see myself as pretty. I see the overall term as more of an insult than a compliment. Now if you said I was beautiful .....


beautiful adj.
adj 1: delighting the senses or exciting intellectual or emotional admiration; "a beautiful child"; "beautiful country"; "a beautiful painting"; "a beautiful theory"; "a beautiful party" 2: aesthetically pleasing 3: (of weather) highly enjoyable; "what a beautiful day."



In my own eyes, the only beauty I possess is in the creativity I exude. No, I see no beauty when I look in the mirror. What I see is much more precious to me than that. I see my creative side, the happiness I feel, the smile that so many people find contagious, and my everlasting zest for life. I see that I am unique. That's more important to me. I may never see myself as a "beauty"... but I will appreciate what I see anyway, because what I see is personality.


HOWEVER - To have my face cradled in the hands of a handsome man who looks deep into my eyes, staring straight into my soul, tell me with honest and sincere intention that I'm beautiful... well, there's no greater compliment on the face of the Earth.