Thursday, June 10, 2010

The Thief (edit)

Facing the Past

80 and aging
Climbing the stairs
Thinking back to his youth

With each step
His mind reels
Should he tell them the truth?

His climb today
Will be his last
He knows he’s going to die

But his family’s there
Waiting for him
Should he continue that lie?

He’s been in hiding
For so many years
How should he begin?

No matter what
They wont understand
Exactly where he’s been.

He didn’t skip out
And leave them there
For just no reason at all

The saga was real
It came to his door
The details he vividly recalls.

His mind so full
He reaches the top
A stretches out a hand

The door gives way
Into the hall
And there his family stands.

How to begin
He wonders inside
Or will he even be able?

He empties his pocket
And spreads the contents
All across the table.

Diamonds shone
The gold did glitter
But what caught the most attention

Were twelve passports
All in a row
He watched dawning comprehension.

Their faces lit up
They came alive
And the questions flooded in

He sat them down
And told them all
Exactly where he’d been.

Years ago they sent me
So very far away
I’ve been around the Earth.

I’m back now
And I’m sorry I left
For whatever that might be worth.

I thought of you often
And now I’m here
But my little girls, you’re grown!

I’m dying now
And I don’t care
If my cover has been blown.”

He told them all
Of his magical tales
Working for Her Majesty


Such an old man
So fragile and frail
How could this really be?

There father was
The “Bond” inspiration?
Surely that wasn’t so!

He opened the cover
To the top passport
Revealing the name Jon Doe.

He went through the stack
Opening each
Revealing a different name

Upon the last
It said “Jon Clark”
And he hung his head in shame.

“This is me
As far as I know
But I’ve lived this lie too long

The aliases I’ve had
Are far too many
And my memory isn’t that strong.”

80 and aging
Descending the stairs
Thinking back to his youth

With each step
His mind reels
He finally told them the truth.

His descending today
Will be his last
He knows he’s going to die

The shot rang out
He fell to the ground
Her Majesty lost her best spy.

Lady Blackwood
08/01/06


(Not one of the best, but I saved it for a reason.)

Daily Color

Wake to the red
Night time has shed
It’s time to start the day

Yawns so mellow
Lighting so yellow
What will that mirror portray?

Step onto the green
The lawn so clean
The mower just finished its task

Stare into the blue
The clouds askew
“Why go to work” I ask?

Purple flowers
During work hours
Help to speed the time

Stuck in all day
Some people would say
Should be considered a crime.

With orange hue
The sun departs you
It’s time for the day to end.

Off to bed
Now rest your head
Tomorrow we’ll do it again.

Alone in my room
My life will resume
When day once more sails through.

Drifting away
Into the gray
Peaceful dreams of you

Lady Blackwood
09/02/06

You Don't Know

I've been on a poetry kick lately - bare with me... They usually dont last long.




You say nothing serious
And then kiss me like you do
You dont know what youre doing to me
I could so easily fall for you.

You say just having fun
Like the chemistry isnt there
Yet we meet most every day
Of this Im sure youre aware.

Youre attracted to me And Im crazy for you
Someday you will understand
Youll reach over And Ill feel alive
When you only touch my hand.

You tell me that Im beautiful
And whisper into my ear
You ask where I came from
Your words are so sincere.

We plan our next meetings
Before we finish a meal
We laugh all night and yet
You have no clue how I feel.

Youre attracted to me And Im crazy for you
Someday you will understand
Youll brush my hair out of my face
You gently hold my hand.

I think about you all the time
My thoughts are riddled with you.
You hold me close in my mind
And I have flashes of De Ja Vous

Ill be happy with Nothing serious
And Im ok with having fun
I dont want you to know my real feelings
For I never want you to run.

Youre attracted to me And Im crazy for you
Someday you will understand
Youll reach over and touch my arm
Before you hold my hand.

Commitment isnt your thing
And for now thats ok by me
I know youve been hurt before
And would rather just be free.

But someday I wont be content
To have you not want to be mine
Im sure youll know my feelings
Before we ever cross that line.

Youre attracted to me And Im crazy for you
None of this was planned!
Youll caress my face And Ill feel alive

Will you ever understand?


Lady Blackwood
08/08/2006

Letter to Michele

Private email from me to my friend and old boss...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hi Michele...
I hate to do this to you, but I have nowhere else to turn.

Day in and day out I wonder how I'm going to be able to pay for my gas, my insurance, and most importantly, my food. I scrape together everything I can to make ends meet, and when it comes right down to the wire, I've had to borrow money from friends, warning them in advance that I have no idea when I'll be able to pay it back. I'm going slowly into the hole.

I've had a couple of job offers that I've not told anyone inside the company about, because I didn't want anyone to question my loyalty to my job here. I love my job and as such, have turned down several offers of making more starting out than I am after almost a year at this company. As our mutual friend on the East Coast says, though, loyalties dont pay the bills.

It's been on my mind a lot, but I suppose the real breaking point for me was finding out that the new assistant was hired making more money than I am even now. My car is about to conk out on me - and then what? If I loose my car, I loose everything! I cant afford another one obviously. I would have no transportation to and from work. I would have absolutely nothing left. I'm sure we can both see where that would lead to.

I'm feeling lost, alone, depressed, and down right scared right now. We both know that I'm a pretty tuff girl with where I've been in my life. I really do need a feeling of stability at the moment, and that's something I dont have even after working here for 10 months. I dont cry often, and the issue has brought tears to my eyes this morning.

Something needs to be done, only I'm afraid nothing would be done even if it was brought to the company Presidents attention. We dont have an HR department for me to turn to, the Assistant Manager wouldn't care, our friend in Accounting wouldn't know what to do, and the Manager wouldn't want to cause waves with the President. It would be indecent of me to go straight to the President, skipping right over the heads of everyone else, but that leaves me standing here alone pulling my hair out by the roots and praying every night that I can pay my bills for "just another month". I cant survive on this, Michele. I have nowhere to turn; nowhere to go.

I need to feel stable, and I dont. At any minute my world could be yanked out from under me, and I've worked too hard to let that happen. If you have any suggestions, I would really appreciate it, but really all I needed to do was vent. I wanted to keep you up to date. I've always felt like I could come to you with anything, be it work related or not. You're a dear friend to me, and one of very few in my life. Thanks for always being there for me.

Amanda

Unfairness Poem

The world isn’t fair
I’ve heard some complain
The injustice in the world
Could drive a man insane.

Some are paid unfairly
Others disrespected
While others who don’t deserve it
Are constantly protected.

Racism runs rampant
Thought those days were past!
Hatred is the only thing
That most people think can last.

Death and taxed are certain
But is the unfairness just as sure?
How much more can common man
Be pressured to endure?

Those who need medical help
Are denied it every day.
Then those who are hypochondriacs
Know exactly what to say.

Male assistants are hired
At a higher rate of pay
Than those whom they work under
If it’s a woman of modern day.

Murders get off Scott free
If they are attached to fame.
While citizens with minor violations
Get treated the exact same.

What happened to the class?
The respect we all deserve?
Should we all just stand and take it
As they grind at our last nerve?


Lady Blackwood
08/04/06

The Back Massager

I did get to have a little bit of fun over the weekend. On Saturday I went to have my car washed and oil changed (it desperately needed both) and had a leisurely lunch at Quiznos. Then I went back to my appartment and wrote a little bit in my book. I've now passed the 200 page marker and have moved on into volume two! Yesterday I went to the beach for a bit and got a little toasted. Actually, my shoulders are fairly well scorched. I'll see if I can send you a picture in a little bit.



I also had a friend from New Zeland come to visit for a few hours. I needed a shower after being at the beach, so when I trotted off to the shower I told him to make himself at home. When I got out of the shower and got dressed, I wandered back into my room and he held something up to me. He looked at me quisically and asked as I imagine a child would "What's this?" He had found my vibrator. I turned about three shades of purple, took it out of his open hand, shoved it into a drawer and told him it was a neck massager. How humiliating!


(2006)

The Horrible Success

In January of 2007, I planned a dinner party for several people. It was the first I had ever fully planned, and it was my way of saying thanks to the couple who invited us over the week before to share their dinner with them.


At their house, dinner was a buffet style. They had made tacos, and this way everyone could choose what they wanted to put in them. I loaded up my taco with a little of everything, topped it off with salsa and homemade guacamole from avocados I had brought over, and I watched my date do the same. When we sat down to eat, I asked him if he noticed anything was missing.


"No," he replied. "What do you mean?"


Feeling that it was a remarkably unobservant remark for a veteran Police Officer of 13 years, I pointed out the one obvious fact he had failed to notice.


"There's no meat."


"What?!" Incredulous, Pete looked at me, down at his taco, and back at me. I could see him thinking for a second. "You're right!"


"I think they're vegetarians," I said quietly. George and Rachel were still putting together their tacos, so that moment of privacy was the only moment I would be able to point out my simple observation without incurring an uncomfortable silence.


"So," Pete said in a much less tactful way when they sat down near us, "you're vegetarians, huh?"


"Oh," George and Rachel proclaimed. "We forgot to tell you. Yes, we've lived a Vegan lifestyle for the past 3 years now," Rachel explained to us, "but I was a Vegan long before that. It just took me a while to convince George." She kissed him sweetly on the cheek while his mouth was wrapped in a big bite around his taco. He smiled a bit.


"Yeah," he concluded after chewing his bite and clearing his mouth. "I wasn't easy to convince."


Before I realized it, the night was nearly over and we were headed home. I couldn't seem to stop myself from speaking when I invited them over for dinner the following week. I'd never cooked a Vegan meal in my life.


I started cooking that Saturday at 9:00 am. It had taken me all week to decide on a menu, and then I discovered that there were so many options that I couldn't decide between them. The final decisions were left to Pete. The dinner party had grown from 4 people to 5 couples, so I knew that no matter the menu, I would have something for everyone. Still, the majority of food was to be Vegan by design.


The first thing I worked on were the appetizers. I chopped the stems and crumbled the bread crumbs for the stuffed mushrooms, wrapped the brie rounds in the Phillo dough with walnuts and Jalapeno Pepper Jelly, and sent Pete to the store for more pears. The baked brie was to be served with apple and pear slices along side a variety of crackers.


Then I got to work on the salad. What Pete's sister described as a "California Salad" is precisely what I made. I started out with the fancy lettuce variety – arugula, baby spinach – the like. Then I tossed on some chopped walnuts (left over from the baked brie) some Feta, also to be used in the lasagna, some sweet yellow peppers, later to be cooked in with the vegetarian lasagna, and some raspberry vinaigrette dressing. It was wonderful! I served this to the guests as soon as they stopped chowing down on the appetizers and chit chatting over the days events, a good half hour after the first couple arrived. They also turned out to be the last couple to arrive. The rest of the group except Rodney (minus the girlfriend) cancelled at the last minute.


Then I made the HAND ROLLED lasagna – two different kinds. I had the traditional meat and tomato, but also the spinach and cheese. It was very good, I'll admit. I had only made it once before. While the guests worked on their salads, the Lasagna was baking in the oven, making the whole house smell wonderful. Noses turned to the air, sniffing wildly as George mopped up the last bit of Raspberry Vinaigrette with a baby spinach leaf.


Next I tossed the ingredients together for my own Cherry Cobbler Cake – a whopping 4 ingredients. This cake is simple, fast, and always a party favorite. I threw that in the oven just as the Lasagna came out and the guests were setting down their salad bowls. Each piece of lasagna came out as a beautiful presentation, and having previous experience as a food server, it was nothing for me to carry three plates at once. Pete carried ours. Ever the polite hostess, I even offered choices.


I had plated two servings of the vegetarian lasagna for George and Rachel, knowing full well from the previous week that they had been Vegan for years. The chances of that changing in less than one week were slim to none.

"Would you like the Spinach lasagna, or the traditional?"


George and Rachel exchanged quick glances. Rachel spoke up first.


"We'll try the traditional."


Agog, I had Pete hand the two plates of traditional lasagna to our guests, while the third I handed to Rodney. The two plates of Spinach lasagna went to Pete and myself. Our confusion was obvious, I guess. George offered an explanation.


"We went to a friend's house on Wednesday. He had been cooking ribs all day long and it had been so long since I had ribs. I said I would take a bite of one just to see how they tasted. All Rachel had to do was taste the BBQ sauce on the ribs and we were both hooked. I suppose I should have told you guys sooner, but it slipped my mind. We're not vegetarians anymore, by the way." His fork cut into his lasagna and he removed a bite sized piece. "Sorry." He emptied the contents into his mouth and his face lit up. "But if I hadn't gone back to meat on Wednesday, I would have now! This is incredible!"


"It is," Rachel agreed after swallowing her first bite. "I've GOT to get this recipe from you! I've never seen Lasagna look like this before. It's so... well, pretty!"


Before everyone finished eating their lasagna, I claimed to have some errand in the kitchen I needed to attend to. The smell of the Cherry Cobbler Cake wafted through the house when I turned off the oven and opened the door to allow it to cool.


The final touch was the Poached Pears. I'd never had poached pears before and I knew it sounded good, so I was curious. I threw together the ingredients in a sauce pot and got it boiling. While waiting, I collected the empty and polished lasagna plates. Had they been any more spotless I would have accused them of licking the plates clean. Then I returned to the kitchen where I peeled, cored, and boiled the pears, but while they were boiling, I garnished the desert plates.


The desert plates were garnished with Raspberry Syrup and Chocolate Syrup swirled in one corner around an orange slice and a raw apple slice. The cake went in another corner, the poached pear next to that. A single scoop of Vanilla Ice Cream finished the presentation, and it came out looking like a miniature work of art. When the desert was served, I got the biggest compliment of the evening.


"This is the best desert I've had in so many years," Rachael proclaimed.


"Everything has been so wonderful!" Pete said.


"Wow, Amanda – you've outdone yourself here. Wonderful." Rodney thanked me.


"I'm so full I feel like I cant swallow any more, and yet I cant stop eating!" George cut a slice of pear off with his spoon and tasted it gingerly. "Oh Wow," he said in a hushed tone. "This is the best desert I've ever tasted." George smiled up at me and then looked at Rachel. "Why don't you ever cook like this?"



Rachel's face fell in embarrassment and she refused to look at me for the rest of the night. She didn't say much after that, and it was clear that she was extremely hurt by what George had said. While I was openly embarrassed for her, inwardly I was stunned that my food had garnished such a compliment.


It was a crowning achievement; a great and horrible success, and an overall wonderful moment for me while also being a most humiliating moment for Rachel. If only the 8 people invited had showed up rather than just the three that did, maybe the comment would have been lost in random conversation.

There were certainly PLENTY of leftovers. To this day I've not made another batch of Vegetarian lasagna though. I know I probably wouldn't eat it if I did. It was good- very good. I just got rather burned out on it.


George and Rachel never came over again, and we never were invited to their house for dinner after that. We rarely saw them at all, and the few times we did, it was clear that Rachel still had rather hurt feelings. She hardly spoke to me.


Part of me wonders if she thought my purpose was to out-do her taco dinner we had at their house, but I know that wasn't the point at all. My only purpose was to make something I would enjoy making and that people would enjoy eating. I wanted to be creative and I saw my moment to try something new.


It was, in the end, a horribly successful dinner party that I'll never forget. I've got money on the fact that Rachel won't forget it anytime soon, either. I still feel bad for that one.

Rodney, Myself and George.

Dinner is Ready

  It might seem harmless. A quick detour to check the mail. A moment to look for that charger, water the plant, or send one last text. But ...