Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Kinkos - Part 2

I had enough of Kinko's after Gavin's surprising death.

There had been so much happen since Kathy had come to be our boss. The worst part of it all was that I actually still liked her and enjoyed her company. After being turned down for the third promotion after being told I had it "in the bag" I decided to start looking elsewhere for work. I had eventually gone back to working at the Restaurant one or two nights a week without complaint from my then husband. The money was good, and Kinko's just wasn't cutting it for me. We needed whatever I could get.

I went to interview after interview. Finally I went to a job interview that went exceptionally well. At the end, they asked how soon I would be able to start and I informed them that I would need to give my proper 2 weeks notice. The very next day, that's exactly what I did. I had felt unappreciated at Kinko's since day one. Men got paid more than I did. Men got the opportunities I was told would be mine. Men were given promotions and raises and extra bonuses and opportunities, while I slaved away for barely more than minimum wage. I knew how unfair it was. I had broken company records for customer service, and yet the only recognition I got for that was a "FedEx Kinko's" key chain I didn't have to pay for, given to me by Kathy herself, after she DID have to pay for it. It was obviously a dead end job for me, and unless I grew body parts I didn't want, it would remain so.

I gave my two weeks notice and Kathy said she was sorry to see me go. She asked if there was anything she could do to change my mind, and I was so completely indifferent with her that she knew right away I was done. I wouldn't be passed up for any more promotions or raises. I wouldn't be looked over after working so hard. I had earned far more than I had gotten, and I wasn't blind to the fact. Whats more, when I gave my two weeks notice it gave several others the courage to give theirs as well. In the end, I tookquite a few from the store with me.

The store had changed locations, just up the street, a few weeks before I put in my notice. We all helped out on the project, moving desks and tables and chairs up the street by pushing them up the steep hill. Each of us helped out and had our own little party in the empty store. Not a copier, fax or printer remained in the entire office before we left for the day.

One man managed to barge his way into the store behind us on one of our last runs to get the tape, remaining boxes, pins and paper clips. He demanded loudly that we allow him to make a copy of his paper. He had one piece of paper he needed a copy of and he wasn't going to leave until he got his copy. Over and over Humberto tried to explain that we didn't have any copiers left in the store, that we were moving and were closed for the day. Still, he demanded that he be allowed to make his copy. Tired of the attitude the man was shoveling on top of his demands, finally Humberto spoke up.

"Well then, grab a pen and get to copying!"

By the time this gentleman left the store, Courtney and Humberto were laughing so hard they couldn't even explain what had happened. They practically rolled in the empty aisles. They clutched at their sides, laughing so hard the counters and walls shook. I just stood there in confusion, along with everyone else.

We settled into our new location and it wasn't long before the irate customers started to flood in through our open doors. Weeks went by with constant daily complaining about the smaller location, the limited parking, the construction on the street outside... the list of items we couldn't control seemed endless.

"Do you have any idea what a pain in the a$$ this place is to find?"

"Well hello to you too," I wanted to say but refrained. I had been biting my tongue for weeks over the negativity from strangers. Tensions were growing at work between the employees. Tensions at home were getting constantly worse too. I had been promised promotion after promotion but denied those advances in the end and blamed it on my lack of priority. I had gone to be on the Alias tv show instead of working, then did the same with Will and Grace. No, I didn't deserve a promotion if I didn't eat, sleep and think Kinko's.

"I'm sorry to hear that," I said to the obviously angry woman with more plastic in her than Barbie. Her overly plump lips looked as though they wanted to sneer at me, but the recent botox injections wouldn't allow her to. I was so sick of the Hollywood types, treating people everywhere like they were servants because we didn't have the money for boob jobs, lip injections, lipo, nose work and countless other idiotic surgeries. I swear the woman was so fake her eyebrows had been tattooed on.

"When are you going to get rid of the construction out front? I drove past here five times before I found the drive way. And another thing, I almost hit some stupid car outside because the parking spaces are too small. You have all that restricted parking under the store but no parking for your customers. Where am I supposed to park?"

"You can always park on the street in front of the store. It might be a bit easier for you actually."

"Are you saying I don't know how to drive? How DARE you?!" Finally I was convinced she had recent botox. She tried so hard to look angry, but no emotions were showing on her face. The whole thing grew comical to me but I refrained from laughing.

"No, I was simply suggesting a better location for you."

"Do you think I want to park my Bentley at a curb?" Wow - remembering back, she was a real piece of work.

She yelled at me for several more minutes about things that we didn't control before finally walking to the counter and asking for the manager. My heart was pounding and my ears were ringing. I was feeling my confrontational mode growing inside me like a disease. I had already put in my 2 weeks notice. I'd had enough of Kinko's and the insanity that revolved around the place. I had a total of 3 days left before I could say good bye.

The woman stood at the front and screamed at the manager (Kathy) for a long time about the same things I had taken from her. Kathy got what she deserved after what she had done to me. She took it like a good little obediant dog, nodding and smiling the whole time. She said sorry up and down, explained that we had nothing to do with the decisions to move or the parking arangements, and tried to make amends. Finally, when the blond plastic idiot had enough, she turned to walk out. Aparently she had come in only to complain. She didn't purchase anything, make a single copy or place an order. As she walked past my station I was still shaking with what had then become rage.

I smiled in an attempt to tell her have a nice day. I opened my mouth, but no words came out. What came out surprised even me.

I laughed. I cackled like a hyena, laughing and pointing at her as though Bozo the Clown had just walked into the room.I laughed like I'd never seen anything so funny. Her face grew red and I laughed harder. She still had no emotion on her face. She began screaming hysterically at me and I continued to laugh. I laughed so hard I had to grab the counter that my cash register sat on to stabilize myself. The bimbo left and I heard four very expensive tires burning rubber getting out of the parking lot outside.

Kathy was extremely angry with me, rightfully so. Everyone else just seemed amazed. Open mouths hung from one corner of the room to the other. All eyes were on me. I stopped laughing, but I didn't stop smiling. I marched straight to Kathy's office, handed in my plastic "Kinko's" name tag and walked out.

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