Sentimental

I drove down to the Redondo Beach Pier today. While at first it was only to have a nice walk out by the beach, it turned out to be a walk down memory lane.

I walked past several memories today, thinking to myself about each and every one of them as I walked past. Yes it's good to be home. Los Angeles holds many memories for me.

There was Tony's on the Pier, where I sat at a table one night drinking a Mai-Tai with a man who is now a memory. There was El Torito, one of the first places I ate at when moving to California. There was the Hot Dog on a Stick, where I used to walk to just for a lemonade, and then turn and walk the mile back home. There was Naja's, where I would stand outside and listen to my old friend Kim Cuda play the guitar like he was born to do. There was the Valentines Dinner table at Kincade's Restaurant from so long ago, when I thought I had planned every detail of my life. But life is what happens when something else is planned.

Years ago, at my Grandmother's funeral, I met a man who instantly became important to me. Years ago, I left there and never thought I'd see that man again. Then, only weeks later, I saw him once more at my Grandfather's funeral. Again, I never thought I'd see him again. Luckily, life is full of surprises.

I have decided that the "Robert" chapter of my life is a thing of the past. While I may have asked in my last blog if I should write a good story or bad story about him, I believe I have changed my mind. I'm no longer interested in telling that story. The chapter is done. I've faced the fact that telling a bad story would do nothing but damage his family - the people I care about still - while a good story would do nothing but prolong my own issues. I think now that I've told the entire story in a brief format, I'm done with it. I've said what I need to say. I'm done with it. It's time to move on. I knew that months ago. No sense in hiding that fact.

So while it was a sentimental day for me, it was also a break-through day for me. There's something else out there for me. There's someone else out there for me. No sense in dwelling on what I know I've been over (but angry about) for months. I'm settling in nicely. I'm happy. It's about time.

"I'm a sentimental fool," I told someone today. He corrected me and said I wasn't a fool. He said that fools don't learn from their mistakes. He was right. I've learned so much. It was a lesson I needed to learn. It's a mistake I won't make again. I may be sentimental, but I'm no fool.