Feet Up, Head Down!

These days I find myself working as an Executive Assistant for an old friend of mine. It’s an interesting job to say the least, and at times the position can land me in an unusual position. Just today I whacked my head thrice and slipped between some car seats, leaving only my feet exposed. All of this happened in less than a three-minute time frame. Perhaps “interesting” is an understatement.


As I’m writing this, I’m sitting in the passenger seat of the vehicle I’ve been driving lately – a fancy silver Land Cruiser complete with Satellite Radio and touch screen in-dash GPS system I’ve found to be very useful, once I finally found the volume buttons. That alone was a mystery that took me about 12 miles to solve.


Next to me is an older green Land Cruiser I’ve spent many driving hours in, as well as having traveled to Colorado and back once upon a time. The poor thing has certainly seen better days, but my sense of nostalgia wins out here. I see it as still a lovely old beast that I once thoroughly enjoyed driving. It has potential. It can be rescued. It’s in the process of being rescued now, I think.


The old green Land Cruiser needed to be moved a few feet today. In the hot California sun I found myself in the drivers seat of the old truck, pulling with all my might on the wheel so that it would turn the direction needed. The truck wouldn’t start, (did I mention it needs to be rescued?) so there was no power steering. I placed both hands on the wheel and pulled with all my might. I felt the wheels start to turn under me, so I braced myself and pulled harder. As the steering wheel turned, my body started to lean with my force and urgent need for leverage. Suddenly there was a “clunk” on the back of my head. I turned to see one of the old wheel wells from the NEW Land Cruiser poking out between the drivers and passengers seats. Yeah, I’d have to watch out for that thing.


Again I braced and pulled, this time harder than before. My hands slipped and my head went crashing into the removed silver case yet again, this time harder than before. I shouted slightly, but all the windows were rolled up so nobody heard me, thankfully. I rubbed the back of my head, wiped the now trickling beads of sweat off of my temple and tried one more time.


The truck rolled backward next to the storage container, right in line with where it should be. It was only inches away and I realized that the door wouldn’t open. For a moment my claustrophobic tendencies took over. I instantly formulated a way to get out of the truck – by crawling over the seats onto the passenger seat and under the silver head-banger. Just about the time I reached to pull off this ‘only a thin person could do it’ maneuver, the truck began to roll forward again. I had to grab the wheel and steer the opposite direction. The person I find myself being an Executive Assistant to was pushing the truck forward again. My head glanced off of the silver menace once more and I was angrier at myself than anything else. I had just hit my head for the third time in less than a minute.


Finally the old green beast was done being moved and I had the freedom needed to extract myself from the position I was in. I left the green Land Cruiser to climb into the silver one. From there I had the task of climbing into the back seat and pulling a rolled posted from the hatch back into the back seat. As I grabbed it, a dry-cleaned shirt I had hanging in the back fell down. I reached for it and my skinny-jean covered rump slid neatly off of the slick leather seats, landing me in a heap on the floor, my hips wedged between the front of the back seat and the back of the front seat. There were my feet sticking straight up in the air, having kicked the door open in the process. I couldn’t help but laugh.


I often find myself in unusual positions within life, but not within the back seat of an otherwise unoccupied Land Cruiser. I guess it’s all thanks to my new job… which I love.