It's great to know that all the supportive people in my life were right. I don't know where I would be without people like my boss and his family, all the people at G.R.A.C.E. Animal Rescue, my friends and my roommate. They told me that I would be fine and everything would work out. I even told that to myself, but I don't know how completely convinced I was.
I'm not sure when it happened, or even how really... Maybe it was that final goodbye. Maybe it was the therapy I found within my own writing. Maybe it was just time... but I've done it. I've moved on. It took me long enough.
I've rebuilt my life after the disaster known as Scotland. It's hard to believe that it was less than a year ago that I returned from a nightmare to a home I wasn't familiar with or felt like I belonged in. I didn't have a proper job or prospects of having one. I was scared, depressed, traumatized, lonely and destroyed in so many ways. I looked for reassurance and guidance from others, when that hasn't been who I was since I was a 15 year old kid.
Now I've got the greatest job in the world, TWO families who love me and accept me for who I am (thank you, Bell and Arnold families!), friends who fly a thousand miles just to spend my birthday with me, my own place where I feel at home, my precious kitties with me and a purpose in life again. I have a job I can pour myself into, charity work that renews my faith in man kind every day and I'm about to finally buy a Miata for myself.
While that may not seem like a huge accomplishment to most people, it will be the FIRST car I've ever bought for myself completely. That's really saying something, since I'm now in my 30's.
I've faced what happened to me. I've moved on with my life. The things that happened to me in the past don't define who I am or who I am meant to be. Once more I've risen above the hand that was dealt to me and found a better deck of cards. This time, the deck isn't stacked against me and I'm coming up all aces.
There will still be good and bad days, but I've regained my power and sense of self. I'm a tower of strength once more and nothing can get in my way.
I've moved on.
It feels good.
No... it feels GREAT.