Below is a comment they posted on one of my blogs found here, that I never felt the need to respond to until this morning. My response is below. :)
I couldn't help but notice you have come to realize...Your mother will never like you. As a parent myself, I can almost assure you that your mother loves you with all her heart. It is difficult to destroy the deep love between mother nad child. She may not like many of the things you have done but wouldn't that be understandable?
You have come to realize that your Dad honestly tried in the best way he knew how. Probably so, most parents do. Did you ever really bond or feel a connection with your own child? Did leaving him ever haunt you? Or is he better off with his father whom you have said keeps him safe? Would he have ever had a stable life with you? It doesn't sound like it from the things you have written about your life.
You have come to realize that your friends don't really know who you are. I would guess that to be true because you smile like everything is fine when it really isn't don't you? You hide who you really are because you fear not being accepted, the same way you must have felt in school.
You will never have inner peace until you try to right the people you have wronged in life. Do you ever fear growing old alone?
On a lighter note, have you ever come to realize you look better in your photos with a lighter shade of lipstick? Red is fine for evening or special occasions but damn, that stuff makes you appear older than your years. It is way too much and looks caked on.
I saw some photos of you with a lighter color and it loked much better on you. Red lipstick and dyed red hair.... not a good combo!
The red hair however, is beautiful on you and goes well with your lighter skin tone. I saw the pictures you posted of your mother and you favor her a lot. The two of you are also built just alike, with nice wide hips, full thighs and a smaller waist. NICE!!!!!
I didn't say my mother would never love me. I said she would never LIKE me and I do still believe that. I know she loves me, because as she puts it, she "Must, without choice" because I'm her daughter. LOVE and LIKE are two different things completely.
As for my own life, you have no position in this world to comment about my son unless you know the whole story - and I don't care who you are, that will never happen. LOL! I do notice you never once commented on the post about him and what happens when I visit him. You're a negative, lying piece of garbage who wants the whole world to hate me. And why, I ask? Is it because you're jealous? I can't imagine why. Yes, I'm pretty (with my hips, waist, red lipstick, red hair and all!) but my life has been a trade off for the looks. I've had my share of hardships, occasionally actually brought on BY the looks. Do not be jealous of me. Jealousy has no reason or purpose in life. Jealousy is actually a sin.
I do not fear growing old alone. Unlike others out there, I'm content in being alone and free. In fact, most of the time I crave it. I don't want to be smothered. I do want to be loved, but that's a basic human instinct. Who doesn't? I don't fear being alone. I don't fear being WITH someone. The future is a mystery. I'm good with that.
I've heard it said that "Strong people will smile through the tears and tell you everything is fine, even when it's not," so in that regard, YES. That's EXACTLY what I do. I'm a positive, strong, independent, confident young woman. That will NEVER change. I am myself, but I am reclusive. Very few of my friends will ever know who I am, but that's because they don't in general spend enough time with me to know. We all have our secrets. YOU are no exception.
In fact, your biggest secret at this point in time would be who you are. I know exactly who you are, but you live in FEAR of anyone else knowing. You live in FEAR of ME knowing. You live in FEAR that your ex will know. You don't want people to know how insecure you are, how jealous you've become. You don't want anyone to know who YOU really are. You wouldn't ever tell your life through a blog as I have done, for the things you've done in your life haven't been half as exciting, half as adventurous, half as interesting as what I've done. You shouldn't feel bad or jealous for that. You don't want me to know who you are... But you don't realize I already do. IP Addresses give a lot of information away.
Next comment you feel like writing, take a long look in the mirror and ask yourself if it's me or YOU that you've written it about. Thanks (but no thanks) for your negative, foul, useless attempt at being cruel to me on my own blog. It's pathetic, and doesn't actually work. I scoff and LAUGH at you. In fact, you know a few of the people I know. Ask them - I do laugh so heartily at your failed attempts to insult me. But I've grown tired of your petty game.
This will be the end of you and I thank you for fading away into the nothing abyss.
You go girl! Plenty of people love your blog!
ReplyDeleteAmanda,
ReplyDeleteYou are intelligent enough to know if you bad mouth others (by telling the truth) on a public forum in cyber space, then most likely you are going to receive some comments you don't like. You chose to share your life's story on a blog with intimate details that involved others. You said youself you were telling your story from your prospective and that others who are/were involved in your life might not agree or see things in a different light. You also invited and encouraged your readers to comment. If you are going to put all of the details out there, be prepared for certain people to tell you how they really feel. (Some people are just cruel)
IP addresses are great and thankfully you can block anything you don't want to read or want others to read. Most people have a tendency to lash out in one way or another when they are angry or hurt. While sharing your story may have been cathartic for you, that may not be the case for all the others who have been involved in your life.
You seem to be at a great place in your life and you apparently have worked hard to get there and to leave the past behind. Now and then someone from the past (or even the present) is going to try to vindicate themselves in one way or another. As long as there is a world with so called humans in it, there are always going to be those who thrive on jealousy and drama. As you have said, laugh it off and keep on going. (And thank God for our pets who are always loyal and loving)!
Anonymous Grandmother