Open Heart

He puts that sparkle in my eyes like nobody I've ever known.

Though I may travel far and wide, my heart, my love and my purpose are stationary. They go where he goes. They live where he lives. They are wherever he may be.

Certain people in this world are private people. They tell people basically nothing about their lives. They share only small details with those they love. They share nearly everything with that one special person - but they're still very private people.

It's a different thought process than mine, and sometimes I have a hard time remembering that. I'm incredibly open about so many intimate details of my own life. I tell the stories of my youth and the days when I was coming of age. I share things with the world that even my own family hasn't heard with the help of this blog. In doing so, it allows people to get to know me just a little more. I put myself out there for all to see and understand. I'm a strong person (I think some of my stories prove that) and I just want people to know and understand who I am and where I come from. Yet, some people in the world find me mysterious.

I don't write and share these stories in order to make myself look good. My purpose isn't to inspire others, though on the rare occasion I admit that I have done that exact thing, much to my own astonishment. I don't want people to pitty me or feel sorry for me. I'm a survivor, and everything that I've been through has led me to be who I am today.

I put myself out there because for so long I lived a closed off, lonely life. I was an island oasis, surrounded by shark infested waters. In my mind, the world was out to get me. They didn't understand me or want to know who I was. I was a target, easy to blame, easy to forget and easy to look over. NO MORE is that the case.

I want people to understand me. The world may not love me, but no longer do I feel surrounded and in danger. I've built a bridge over the water and I boldly step one foot in front of the other in order to reach where I'm going. I'm not alone. I have a connection with the world and those around me. I'm understood, not pittied.

And though the world may not love me, one man does. That's purpose enough to smile, to live happily and to have that sparkle in my eyes.